Poor Hermoine
by x Disco x
Summary: And I will make it my goal to teach her all I know. I’m a Ravenclaw it’s what we do best. AU Oneshot.


No one ever understood. It was not even difficult concepts I was trying to teach them, no. It was, in fact, the simplest of ideas, but all of them were just so close minded, so convinced that if they hadn't seen it, it wasn't real. Especially that Hermoine Granger girl, she was by far the worst.

Patience was a virtue that was damn well running out. The next time that little know-it-all argued that she had never seen or heard of a Crumple-Horned Snorkack, she'll find herself quite in a rut. I had already prepared a retort, and as of late I've practiced my hair flick and look of haughty superiority she always uses around me. It's all planned. I'll bring it up, she'll whine, and then I will wait. Maybe for a couple seconds, maybe a minute if there is enough tension in the air. I'll bring my pudding spoon; see if I can scoop it up before I answer her. But she'll know it's coming.

And then I'll sigh, like my mother used to when I'd ask stupid questions she answered ages ago, I'll pack my stuff up, stand and start walking before I turn around, look at her once and roll my eyes for probably the millionth time. "Well Hermoine, I've never seen He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, but I'm pretty sure he's around causing mayhem and destruction. I've never heard of the entire fate of a magical world depending on a teenage boy, but isn't that what's going on now? And my father always said that there was no one in the world who could be more troublesome as I was. Well, again, the facts were denied." And I'd look at her once again, push my nose in the air, and storm off.

Of course, it will be the biggest hoot, and it will definitely be the buzz around the entire school. I'll hear about it as I lurk through the halls, seemingly invisible to everyone except those few friends and those in my house, proud of my display of bravery. Maybe some Gryffindors will clap me on the back, telling me that with my courage, I should be in their house, and then Hermoine will swat them away and take house points from all of us for loitering in the hall. Of course, then I'll get to argue again, but it'll be a long, loud match. It's only fair, since I took her down in just a few short words. It'll be an argument over everything, and will end when McGonagall and Flitwick are called to pull us apart, because we are pulling underclassmen out of their rooms.

Well, maybe just McGonagall. I've always enjoyed Professor Flitwick; he never seemed to treat me like a plague, so I wouldn't want to ruin his day. But McGonagall can have her day sat on by a twelve-foot tall half giant, in the very least.

My day will be running smoothly, after a quick visit where I will narrowly avoid a detention ("Honestly Professor, if the wrackspurts are causing dear Hermoine this much trouble, perhaps we should find a new head girl."), and then a week will pass. News will fade, and eventually I'll go back to being Loony, after the story gets distorted enough to where someone guesses that, after it went so well, it must have been planned.

Through the whole thing, my friendship with Ron and Harry will be rocky, though Ginny will always be yelling at them for me and Neville will storm out with her to meet me by the lake. Dad might write a story about the effects of positions of power in the school (though it'll be in the middle, since we don't want to be traitors).

It'll be fixed eventually, during some Hogsmeade trip, when all I want to do is pick the wild flowers at the edge of the Shrieking Shack (to prevent the blibbering humdingers from entering the house. Angry spirits reside there, and there is no reason whatsoever to have the humdingers disturbing them and causing them to wreak havoc on my town away from home away from home). Hermoine will find me, and apologize, and I will too, because by that point I'm sure I'll have said at least one thing I regret, so the apology won't be utterly a lie, and she'll get the flowers (because heaven only knows that the Gryffindors probably need the humdingers). We'll link arms and head off, both just dying to get away and meet up with somebody else.

But I'll still write Dad to make sure he hasn't chiseled her face off my mural yet. Not everyone can understand, so Hermoine isn't a bad friend. She's merely misinformed. And I will make it my goal to teach her all I know.

I'm a Ravenclaw; it's what we do best.

--

_I love Luna Lovegood. I wish she would get more credit, so I wrote this. It's been a while since I last posted on FanFic, so I'm excited to get back in the fray!_

_So, in case someone decides to sue…J.K. Rowling can have at her future of the characters, because I like my ideas. Too bad she gets all the fame…._


End file.
